He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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