fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
