That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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