Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
