I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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