he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
