she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
