sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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