Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she peed on how many people?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
