But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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