My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
