the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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