were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
