fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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