: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
