im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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