Please don't use social media to get back at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
