i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
