I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Someone shattered a urinal.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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