Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
