K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
