you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All the doctor said was why
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
