need another drink. this is the easiest way
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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