she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
