you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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