is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
