I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
