super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize