I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
