these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
