she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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