It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
