i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize