STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Enjoy the penises
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
