i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
