Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
