It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
