Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
