Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
