she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
