You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize