Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
