i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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