I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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