Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
