I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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