Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
