Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
