Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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