So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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