This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
