you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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