I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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