Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
