OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
