There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize