Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
