I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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