maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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