I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize