Duck Duck Cougar?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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