so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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