she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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