Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My bed smells like the plague
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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