I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize