She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
