Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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