i barfeds in our rink
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
