Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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