Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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