Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
