I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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