Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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