what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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