Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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