Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
