i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
